Dawn Of The Dead
Directed By: George A. Romero
1978
139 Minutes - Color
I understand this movie was probably pretty shocking for its time, but considering
I was 2 years old when it came out, let's just say I didn't get shocked. I
was probably crapping my pants for other reasons besides an outbreak of zombies.
The undead are on the loose and the 4 stars of the movie seek shelter and
protection inside a huge shopping mall. The mall is full of zombies, but they
lock themselves upstairs where they don't think they can get to them, and
they spend their time going out to the other parts of the mall to get supplies
and blasting through tons of zombies that roam aimlessly. Eventually some
of the zombies get to them and kill a couple of them, and a few barely make
it out alive.
The makeup job is done well [for the time] and the dialogue is good for a
movie in this genre, but a lot of it is just dragged out for no reason, and
this is the type of movie that would have been better if it was 90 minutes
and all the filler was chopped out. Also, I get bored of looking at the whole
damn movie being in a mall. I understand the idea they were going for of shoppers
being zombies going to a mall to stock up on whatever society thinks is cool,
but I still don't think it's overly effective.
People will bash me because this is a "classic" but I simply think
it's overrated. Whatever you do, don't bother with the remake at all. If you
have to watch Dawn Of The Dead, make it the original.
Murder Rating: 9
Movie Rating: 6
Review by Baron
Dawn Of The Dead
Directed by: Zack Snyder
2004
109 Minutes - Color
I know, everyone raves about the 1978 Dawn Of The Dead movie being a classic. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it and remember watching it at the age of 15 scared shitless. But for me, the fresher remake of it was a lot more visually appealing.
The beginning of the outbreak ruled, as the little girl who lived next store is infected by the zombie like disease. She attacks Anna's husband and immediately Anna jumps in her car and is forced to the streets. Burning cars, zombie attacks, people in panic, and just the outbreak in general claiming her city. She crashes and finds a couple of people who are not infected and they head to a mall. They kill some zombies and some kill them...but the master plan is to get out of the mall. So they rig up a couple of buses with bob-wire and head to the ocean where they plan to escape by water. Some do and some don't...but the infection has spread and the whole world will never be the same.
Murder Rating:
8
Movie Rating: 10
Review by Anne
Day Of The Dead
Directed By: George A. Romero
1985
102 Minutes - Color
In my opinion, this is the best of the Living Dead movies, hands down. The
pace is a lot faster this time around, and the characters are played with
much more conviction. The special effects by Tom Savini are excellent and
there is tons of gore throughout, but especially at the great ending.
Again, the plot isn't too complex: A group of military people and scientists
seek shelter in an underground bunker trying to stay away from the millions
of zombies. The scientists are trying to discover both how the whole thing
happened and how to cope with the fact that it has happened. The guy who plays
"Dr. Frankenstein" is excellent and really is a stand out to me
in this movie. While the others are more interested in what they will do,
he is concerned with doing experiments on the undead to see just what makes
them tick. The lead zombie known as Bub is his specimen, and he tries to show
that zombies can be trained to do and act in certain ways.
I guess most people prefer the original Dawn of the Dead over this, but I
definitely don't. This movie is more to the point and the writing [which usually
doesn't matter AS MUCH in a zombie movie] is really well done. This is up
there with the classics of horror/gore and I recommend it completely.
Murder Rating: 10
Movie Rating: 9.5
Review by Baron
Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium
Directed By: Ana Clavell
2005
Color - 103 Minutes
Let's get one thing straight here right off the bat. I didn't buy this movie thinking it was going to be good at all. I also didn't put the movie on automatically wanting to hate it. I actually wanted it to be good and I wanted to be surprized that this was a good movie although it has NOTHING to do with George A. Romero or the original Day Of The Dead movie.
This was, in all honesty, probably the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen. I can't believe this was released and distributed and passed off as a legit prequel or sequel or whatever the tits it's supposed to be to Day Of The Dead. I can sit through movies like Blood Gnome and Jigsaw and I Was A Teenage Zombie, but I can't picture anyone watching this without their finger on the fast forward button. Trust me, that is what I did from about 50 minutes to about 85 minutes. There's simply not one single thing that you would want to see here.
One of the worst movies that's ever been released.
Murder Rating:
5
Movie Rating: 0
Review by Baron
Dead Alive
Directed By: Peter Jackson
1992
97 Minutes - Color
This movie is fantastic. Most of the effects and gore are well done, which
is nice considering it is a low budget type film. Tons of zombies and severed
limbs and everything you want to see.
While visiting the zoo, Lionels mother is bitten by the Rat Monkey [these
stop motion effects are soooo bad] and she becomes infected. He tries his
best to conceal the fact that his mother isn't dead, but instead has turned
into a zombie. Slowly, more and more people get bitten and turn into zombies
too, and then the final 20 minutes or so is one of the most extreme bloodbaths
ever put on screen.
This movie has everything from a baby zombie to old zombies having sex. From
a zombie priest who kicks ass for the lord to someone impaled on a lighbulb
which makes their head light up like a jackolantern. The lawnmower scene is
legendary as well and you won't forget it.
I guess the only thing I don't get is how the mother was attacking the son
over and over, and then for no reason, she stops going after him and hangs
out with other zombies. Oh well, this film is essential to your collection.
Murder Rating: 10+
Movie Rating: 9.5
Review by Baron
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
Directed By: George Barry
1977
80 Minutes - Color
Ummm...
This film was shot mainly in 1972 and edited in 1976 and finally released for the first time officially in 2003. It's obviously low budget, but the acting by the lead girl Diane and her brother Rusty is pretty good. There are some flaws in the production; mainly the sound is all over the place and the editing is a bit weird at times, but it's not that bad.
Did I mention this movie is about a bed that eats people?
Yeah, that's pretty much all you need to know. What I got out of it was some demon thing is in love with this girl [somehow], and he takes the form of a human to be with her. Unfortunately, she ends up dying and the demon cries blood onto the bed, which turns it into a flesh hungry monster. Everyone that sleeps on it gets eaten by the bed demons or something. The special effects of the bed chewing and eating people can only be described as fucking bizarre. Why would a bed that wants human flesh eat chicken wings? It's as odd as it sounds, believe me.
Apparently the director got the idea for this script when he actually had a dream about it himself. I'm guessing that's the only way you could come up with something like this. Most of the time it looks like he was still asleep when he was directing it.
Worthwhile to your obscure horror collection, although it's one of those ones that is unintentionally funny. Check it out.
Murder Rating: 4
Movie Rating: 7.5
Review by Baron
Deep Red
Directed By: Dario Argento
1975
126 Minutes - Color
This is considered by a lot of people to be Argento's best film. This is one
of the reasons why I am such a huge Argento fan.
The story itself is quite involved, but I'll make it real simple for the hell
of it. A psychic is giving a lecture and feels the presence of a murderer
in the room. Soon after, she is murdered herself. A man on the street witnesses
her being killed and he goes to her apartment to try and save her. It's too
late, but he sees the man walking away down the street. He teams up with a
reporter and they both try to discover the man resposible.
I've only seen a handful of Argento movies so far, but this one ranks up there
with the best of them. His style just has a unique vibe to it, and no one
else from the golden age of Italian directors can capture it quite the same.
Deep Red has some gruesome moments, but overall, it's more of a suspense movie
that keeps you guessing the entire time. The ending is unexpected and I doubt
you would have figured out the killer until you see it happen.
Seek out this movie at all costs. It will be 20 bucks well spent.
Murder Rating: 8
Movie Rating: 9.5
Review by Baron
Disturbed
Directed By: Charles Winkler
1990
Color - 87 Minutes
"I've always wanted to feel the lifeblood drain out of a human being.
To experience the moment of mortality, the fusion of blood, the garrote of
vitality, the execute, abort, and subjugate. To be a god, god, god, god..(repeated
dramatic echo effect).
A quote to set the mood for this review of "Disturbed", a mildly
effective straight to video thriller starring Malcolm McDowell (a favorite
actor of mine). A combined effect of a limited budget, a great actor excelling
comparatively to the other cast, and a director with limited experience (looking
at Mr. Winkler's history we have, to his credit, a Baywatch episode with the
curiously catchy title "K-Gas the Groove Yard of Solid Gold", an
episode of the once resurrected "The Outer Limits", "The Chris
Issak Show", and a made-for TV sequel to that elderly piece of shite
Sandra Bolluck movie, "The Net", impressive...sort of...ehh..not
really). Mr. Winkler also scores in the writing department, with classic lines
like the one above and literary gold like "You couldn't even manage her
rape, let alone her death!"
Alright, enough technical jargon, let's commence with the summary, shall we?
Malcolm McDowell stars as Dr. Derek Russell, a seemingly respectable psychiatrist
stationed at his very own Pine Woods asylum of relaxation. I say "seemingly"
as Dr. Russell successfully completed all requirements necessary to earn his
lauded degree in Taking Advantage of Emotionally Destitute Perky Breasted
Female Patients coupled with a graduate's in Murdering Meatholes to Save His
Career (all keenly displayed in his office in frames of striking 24kt gold).
Selena, the most recent Perky Breasted aficionado meets her apparent demise
as Dr. Russell blunders in her disposal and is joined by a very enthusiastic
assistant, some character actor guy I'm far too haphazard in my profession
to research right now, who administers a lethal dose of penicillin to the
unconscious, allergic Selena, rendering her deceased on the spot, or so we
are led to believe. Holy fuck this is turning into a novel already, I'll go
ahead and remove the predictable plot cotton balls from your eyes, she's not
dead and the character actor guy was in cahoots with her the whole time! Wow,
didn't see that coming. So, as history is spanned out in a reoccurring series
of flashy montage sequences, we discover Dr. Russell killed her look-alike
mom some years before and her daughter didn't take to kindly to the news.
Great. Neat. Kudos to vengeance. Anyway, here's some cool shit you'll see
in this movie:
-Moment of Russell's complete psychotic breakdown announced with a pancake
make-up faced woman relaxing on a Spanish tiled roof being zoomed in on multiple
times marked by exciting synth sounds.
-Clint Howard (Ron Howard's brother, by the way), of "Ice Cream Man"
fame being blessed by an insane man who thinks he's a priest after receiving
a strong kick to the balls for exposing himself to an old woman.
-Malcolm McDowell having a wetdream involving the headless corpse of a woman.
Murder Rating: 1
Movie Rating: 4 (worth a rental, or the $2.50 I paid for it)
Review by Repugnance
Dr. Lamb
Directed By: Danny Lee and Hin Sing Tang
1992
89 Minutes - Color
Chinese with English Subtitles
"Dr. Lamb", as the police come to call him, gets caught when he sends some pictures of his killings to be developed. The cops track him down and discover he has tons and tons of pictures of all the missing girls that have been reported around Hong Kong lately. His family knows nothing about this because he works at night as a taxi driver and no one really sees him much, even though they live together. As the cops investigate more, they find out he used to watch his parents have sex and watch his sister shower, as well as a bunch of other things that make him what they consider "abnormal." Then they uncover his collection of body parts such as breasts in a jar and finally get him to confess.
While this is similar to The Untold Story, it's also a bit different. This one isn't as downright gory and gruesome, but the story is great and interesting. It follows patterns of The Untold Story in that the ending half of the movie is him confessing and flashing back to the murders and how he covered them up. I must mention the great acting in the lead roll as well as some of the police here, as they're really viscious and cunning to get him to come out about the crimes.
Quite an entertaining movie if you're into this sort of thing. I'm guessing you'd be my hero if you watched Dr. Lamb and The Untold Story back to back.
Murder Rating:
8
Movie Rating: 8.5
Review by Baron
Dr. Moreau's House of Pain
Directed By: Charles Band
2004
90 Minutes - Color
I picked this up because Charles Band directed it, and he's the man behind
the godly Puppet Master series. Well, this movie is totally gay and boring.
Not even the talking Pigman or an excess of fake boobs could save this.
This group of friends see a stripper murder someone and take his body, so
they follow her to her house. Little do they know this house is full of half
human/half animal mutants called 'manimals' who need more victims to bring
them back to normal or something. Who knows really.
The acting is really bad. All the characters are annoying, except the Dr.
Moreau who is played fairly well. Tits rule, but I was sick of looking at
this worn out slut walking around the entire movie nude. The Pigman's voice
is more annoying than Belial from Basket Case, and it took me a half hour
to realize it was supposed to be a guy.
Seriously, don't even bother with this. Sit home and masturbate to internet
porn instead.
Murder Rating: 5
Movie Rating: 3
Review by Baron
Eating Razors
Directed By: Ron Decaro
2005
26 Minutes - Color
While I was recently at a local horror convention, I was approached by a few guys selling their DVD called Eating Razors. It was only $5, and in my quest to support local people making horror flicks, I decided to grab it.
This is a short film about a guy who loses his wife in a car accident and is having problems getting over it. He becomes an alcoholic into self mutilation as a result of this. The plot is kinda thin, but it's also a really short, crudely shot piece, so it all fits.
The dialog seems improvised a lot of the time, and not much happens til the end when he actually starts eating the razors. It seems like they spent ¾ of the time and money on that last 5 minute scene, but it's a good closer.
Overall this is a quick and enjoyable debut from these guys. I think if they stick with it they might be able to make something quite good in the future.
I doubt you'd be able to find this anywhere, but if you're interested in checking out some amateur horror, e-mail him at: therazoreater@hotmail.com
Murder Rating:
3
Movie Rating: 5
Review by Baron
Ebola Syndrome
Directed By: Herman Yau
1996
96 Minutes - Color
Chinese with English Subtitles
Another Anthony Wong flick with him working in a meat shop. He likes to bang his boss' wives, and one time while he's doing it, he gets caught. The boss threatens to castrate him, but he breaks free and slaughters everyone. Then it flashes to 10 years later where he is working in a deli type place again, but this time around, he's in South Africa. He rapes and kills a black tribe lady ["such large breasts!"] and gets infected with Ebola. Then he goes back to Hong Kong after killing the restaurant owners and taking their money.
This is very similar to The Untold Story [same director], although The Untold Story didn't have the Ebola virus in it, and it was better and more gruesome overall. Not to say this film is a letdown, but it just doesn't rank up there with that depraved masterpiece. Ebola Syndrome did have a guy masturbating with a slab of pork though, so extra points for that.
Not the best, but good for fans of morbid cinema.
Murder Rating:
8
Movie Rating: 7.5
Review by Baron
Endangered Species
Directed By: Kevin Tenney
2002
94 Minutes - Color
The cover of this looked like it would be the dumbest/greatest movie ever.
Well, I must say I did find this Eric Roberts flick to be enjoyable and not
QUITE as dumb as I was expecting.
There are huge strings of murders in local health spas and strip clubs, so
the investigation begins on who did all this. They realize all the murders
are done to people who have perfect bodies with no scars or flab or whatever.
They also never find any bullets or fingerprints at the scene. They track
down the one doing this, but can't hold him since there is no proof or whatever.
The murders start up again, and Eric Roberts is in to save the day.
Thw writing is a little childish, and the co-stars suck, but good ol' Eric
pulls this movie through. It's not really a horror movie, although there are
plenty of kills and bloodsplattering fun. There are plenty of nude girls all
over the place, and almost all of them get killed. It rules when one dies
in the shower and the cops are talking about her tits after she's dead. That
was a classy touch. Some of the special effects such as the headlights on
the invisible van are kinda cool, but other effects like the bad guy sticking
half his body out of the invisible van are some of the worst crap I have
ever seen.
This isn't the best movie ever, but I'd say it's worth renting or owning if
you see it used. Hell, even if you hate it you can just stare at the cover
for hours.
Murder Rating: 6
Movie Rating: 6.5
Review by Baron
Entrails Of A Virgin
Directed By: Kazuo Gaira Komizu
1986
Color - 73 Minutes
Japanese with English Subtitles
Some people filming a porno get attacked and killed by a monster with a huge cock. I'm not lying about this. That's really the plot.
There are some pretty good scenes, but overall this movie is just dull. It's filled with fogged out Jap sex scenes and the occasional classic moment like some slut masturbating with a severed arm and stuff like that. For this being known as such a vile movie, both this and the sequel to this, are just a let down for fans of extreme Japanese horror. Most of the time it's some awkward sex scene that spends more time trying to get different camera angles so it doesn't have to be fogged out than anything else.
This is part of the Asian Cult Cinema Extreme Horror Collection Box Set.
Murder Rating:
5
Movie Rating: 5
Review by Baron
Entrails
Of A Beautiful Woman
Directed By: Kazuo Gaira Komizu
1986
Color - 68 Minutes
Japanese with English Subtitles
This is the sequel to 'Entrails of a Virgin', although it's sort of a sequel in name only. Well, a different variation of the giant penis monster is back in this one. Except this time around it has a vagina too.
This beaten and raped girl stumbles to a hospital where she meets a nurse there. Before she can do much about it, the girl commits suicide by jumping off the top of the building. The nurse decides to investigate the murder and she uncovers a gang selling some drug and turning women into slaves. She is given this same drug and she OD's on it and dies. But of course, she comes back as the crazy monster at the end.
I found this to be more entertaining than the first movie, although it's still far from a masterpiece. Although the movie itself is only 68 minutes, it seems to horribly drag in places, and then some other scenes aren't given the full amount of time they deserve. This director has never really made anything too amazing, but I think it's possible that he could if the movie was a bit more focused.
This is part of the Asian Cult Cinema Extreme Horror Collection Box Set.
Murder Rating:
5
Movie Rating: 6
Review by Baron
Evil Dead Trap
Directed By: Toshihiru Ikeda
1988
Color - 105 Minutes
Japanese with English Subtitles
I thought this was the highlight of the Asian Cult Cinema box set. Although the 2nd half of the movie kinda drags and the ending is completely absurd, as well as totally confusing, I think this is a very entertaining movie.
A reporter gets a mysterious package delivered to her that appears to be a snuff film. Deciding that this could be good television ratings, she gathers up a couple of her co-workers and they find their way to this abandoned building thing where this video was shot. They find some.. uhh, 'thing' there that slowly starts killing off the main girl Nami's crew. There is a strange twist of a guy showing up there claiming to be looking for his brother. This part is the reason for the completely insane ending they threw on this. It's not BAD really, but it's something that will leave you scratching your head for a while.
There are some quality death scenes here. Obviously the director is a fan of Argento and Fulci, because the whole vibe of it is pure Argento while the eyeball scene and some of the other kills are quite Fulci-esque. All in all, this is a definite must have for fans of Japanese horror. Just forget about the ending and enjoy it for what it is.
Murder Rating:
9
Movie Rating: 8.5
Review by Baron
Final Destination
Directed By: James Wong
2000
98 Minutes - Color
A bunch of kids are going to fly to Paris for a field trip. Right after boarding,
Alex dozes off and has a vision of the plane exploding. He immediately gets
up and leaves the plane and a few other people follow him. Shortly after,
he notices the people that got off the plane are dying. He figures out the
pattern of their demise, or "deaths design", and does his best to
save everyone.
I watched this after part 2, so I sorta knew what the basic idea was. I also
heard the first one wasn't that great, but I enjoyed it. The pace on both
these movies is REALLY fast and that keeps it from being boring. I love the
creativity of the death scenes, and it's usually not the typical thing you're
expecting. I could do without some of the CGI effects [we all know how I love
those] but it doesn't take much away from the movie itself.
This is what I would consider a "sleeper" horror series. It ends
up being way better than you expect it to be. I am awaiting part 3 which comes
out Feb. 2006. Recommended.
Murder Rating: 9 [more for creativity]
Movie Rating: 7.5
Review by Baron
Final Destination
2
Directed By: David R. Ellis
2003
90 Minutes - Color
This movie hit me by surprise. I own the first Final Destination, although I haven't watched it at this point. My favourite local DVD place had the sequel for $2, so I checked it out. After buying it, I was told by a buddy of mine that is was a really good movie and it killed the first. Well, I skipped the first and went right for part two.
A girl driving her friends on a trip has a premonition of a huge accident on the highway that kills a bunch of people and then finally kills them. She does whatever she can do to stop the carnage, but it still ends up happening, although to a lesser extent. Apparently this has pissed off Death, as the reaper is trying his best to kill all the other people that were supposed to die in the car wreck. A few of the people who survived the accident get together and track down someone [I'm assuming] from the first movie, where it was a plane crash that did this.
There were some amazing death scenes here and plenty of interesting twists and turns throughout. Looking at the cover and the back of the DVD, this looks like it might be some Scream type bullshit, but it's really not. It may not have the atmosphere of Evil Dead or the other genre classics, but for a modern horror flick with a teenage cast, it's pretty damn entertaining.
Murder Rating:
7
Movie Rating: 8
Review by Baron
Flesh For The
Beast
Directed By: Terry West
2003
89 Minutes - Color
This guy buys a haunted mansion and he hires a group of parapsychologists
to try to rid the house of the evil spirits.. or so he says. He's actually
just there to get info on a mysterious medallion and use the scientists as
food for the hordes of undead that roam the house.
This was directed by a guy that usually does porno, so you know it is filled
with lots of naked whores all the time. The demons in the house present themselves
as these women to seduce the guys, mate, and eat them. There is a good amount
of gore, naked girls dancing in blood, hungry zombies, and a nice creepy mansion
to keep you entertained. There is a fair amount of supernatural stuff and
some cheesy effects here and there, but it's not enough to take away from
the movie.
I recently picked up a special edition of this with the DVD, a book, and a
t-shirt. I found it at BestBuy for $20, and I was glad I went for it. Definitely
a fun movie to have in the collection.
Murder Rating: 7
Tits Rating: 10
Movie Rating: 8.5
Review by Baron
Flower of Flesh
and Blood
Directed By: Hideshi Hino
1985
42 Minutes - Color
Japanese with English Subtitles
A woman is kidnapped and brought back to a dimly lit basement and dismembered. This crazy samurai guy chops up the girl, and then you see the parts of other bodies he has done this to. Then he keeps her head. Hey, who wouldn't?
This is one of those movies you might pop in for your non-horror movie friends when they say like "Hey, lets watch something scary dude!" because this is the type of thing that would freak out most people. The effects look so real that it was once considered a real snuff film. Well, they looked real in 1985..
May not be everyones cup of tea, but it's pretty cool to see once.
Murder Rating:
10
Movie Rating: 6.5
Review by Baron
Frankenhooker
Directed by: Frank Henenlotter
1990
82 Minutes - Color
You will think I'm insane, but this movie rules your faggoty life. I recently found it on DVD and new life was brought into my appreciation for this Henenlotter classic. Simply amazing!
The plot is so basic and easy to follow. The main guy makes a remote controlled lawnmower that goes berserk and mows down [har har] his fiancée. He manages to save her head, but her body is too far gone. He preserves her skull in some, uhhh, stuff and begins to draw up plans to track down a body to bring her back to life [some Reanimator comparisons are bound to happen]
He manages to get a bunch of hookers together to measure out their body parts, and when it comes time to pay them for their time, they discover a bag that they think is some sort of crack cocaine or whatever. Well, they amazingly decide to dance around nude and smoke this stuff and they all explode. Our hero gathers up the body parts and brings them back to his lab to piece them together and bring his girlfriend back to life, ala Frankenstein.
The makeup on the Frankenhooker is so horrible that it just rules. She has the body parts of prostitutes, so obviously she starts to act and talk like the hookers that exploded. She murders a few people, but nothing done as well as the killings in Basket Case [another Henenlotter classic] The ending is twisted and not what you would expect to happen. It's funny and done well. They could have made a sequel!
All in all, this is one of the best movies you could ever own. Pay $1849490 for this if you have to.. IT'S WORTH EVERY PENNY.
Murder Rating:
7
Movie Rating: 10
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th
Directed By: Sean S. Cunningham
1980
95 Minutes - Color
This is the beginning of an epic horror franchise that has seen it's ups and
downs. Little did they know when this was released in 1980 that it would still
be going strong 25 years later. Crazy.
The magical Camp Crystal lake has reopened and the camp counselors are getting
butchered. Of course the killer is a mystery, but we find out in the end that
it is Pamela Voorhees who is out to avenge her son Jason's death.
This is one of those movies you look back on and realize it's a good flick,
but it's not really what you would consider an amazing movie that would spawn
10 sequels. Some of the effects by Tom Savini are quite good and the spooky
vibe is definitely there.
You probably already own this anyway, but if not, you need it for reasons
unknown.
"It's got a death curse!"
Murder Rating: 7
Movie Rating: 6.5
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th Part 2
Directed By: Steve Miner
1981
87 Minutes - Color
Our hero Jason Voorhees is born. Rejoice! Now give him the damn mask.
Here we see a very skinny and small Jason out to get revenge on the world.
The killings this time around are not as good, because word has it the film
was going to get an X rating, and they had to take lots of stuff out. Wow,
that's really gay!
I enjoy this movie more than the original for sure, but it's still not the
best in the series. Keep reading to find out my favorites! haha
Murder Rating: 5
Movie Rating: 7
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th Part 3
Directed By: Steve Miner
1982
95 Minutes - Color
Same plot, but now we have Richard Brooker under the mask and slightly more
graphic murders this time around.
Slit throats, stabbings, spear guns, fireplace pokers, and a guy being chopped
in half. Simply great. It's hard to review these because they are all the
same! Although I think this one is a pinch better than the first two.
Man, I wish I had seen this in 3D like it was intended to be. I can only imagine
how awesome that would have been to see Jason in all his three dimensional
wonder.
Murder Rating: 7
Movie Rating: 7
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter
Directed By: Joseph Zito
1984
90 Minutes - Color
We all know the title is a joke at this point, but this is the best of the
first 4. This is also the one where lots of people seem to lose interest in
the series as a whole. Hey, it's their loss!
The wonderful pairing of Cory Feldman and Crispin Glover really dominate this
movie. Both of them really add a lot to the feel of the movie, and you can
tell they spent a little time on this one, rather than just blasting out another
pointless sequel.
The character of Tommy Jarvis should have been continued through the series,
but alas, it wasn't there as long as it should have been. It might have brought
some life to the later installments.
If you've never seen a Friday The 13th movie and you only want to watch one
of them and somewhat understand the whole series, then it should probably
be this one.
Murder Rating: 7
Movie Rating: 8
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th Part 5: A New Beginning
Directed By: Danny Steinmann
1985
92 Minutes - Color
Wow, they didn't waste time bringing Jason back! Apparently part 4 was a huge
box office success and they wanted to cash in, so they slapped together yet
another slasher and here we are.
This is probably the worst of the first 9 movies although it's still alright.
Jason himself isn't in this one that much which kinda sucks. Tommy Jarvis
is now in a mental home and he starts seeing visions of Jason. The doctors
are wrong, it's not just in his mind.
Decent but not that great. Add it to the collection.
Murder Rating: 5
Movie Rating: 5.5
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives
Directed By: Tom McLoughlin
1986
86 Minutes - Color
I love the opening scene of this movie with our hero being brought back to
life. The way it's done is great and it's one of the highlights of the series
for me. This is the first one where Jason is now a huge monster with more
powers than just a pissed off guy would have. I love that he is able to walk
faster than everyone else can run when they're scared shitless. Awesome stuff.
The switching of Tommy's character is more confusing than anything, but overall,
the acting is about what you would expect from a slasher like this. The murders
might not quite be the best this time around, but overall, this is an awesome
movie to watch because this is the first movie that Jason is actually the
Jason we all love: an unstoppable killing machine.
Murder Rating: 6
Movie Rating: 8
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood
Directed By: John Carl Buechler
1988
90 Minutes - Color
Here we are given the treat of Kane Hodder as Jason Voorhees. He is the best
thing that could happen to the fading series at this point.
That being said, I hate the premise of this one. The whole telekinetic powers
thing just doesn't interest me at all. Luckily, there's still some of the
typical teens being hacked up stuff here to keep me interested. We get to
see the grim face of Jason here in all it's glory as well. I've always sorta
liked the battle between Jason and the psychic bitch Tina at the end. It made
this installment a little more interesting overall.
After part 6, this one seems a bit flat, but it's not bad either.
Murder Rating: 7
Movie Rating: 7
Review by Baron
Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhatten
Directed by: Rob Hedden
1989
100 Minutes - Color
For some reason, I usually prefer this installment over all the others. I
know it's not "true" to like sequels over the originals, but I don't
care. This movie to me is an example of just how stupid a movie can be and
still be great.
Jason
is aboard a ship headed to New York. Most of the movie takes place on the
boat though, because it wasn't in the budget for them to do a lot of NYC filming.
He kills off most of the crew on the boat in true Voorhees style. To me, Kane
Hodder IS Jason, and his performance here is better than most of the guys
they got in the past because they fit the cheap suit.
The last quarter of the movie when Jason is in Manhatten is simply awesome.
There are some cool sewer scenes and the time he is standing in Times Square
is the most memorable out of any of the movies if you ask me. Some people
hate this movie because they think Jason should stick to murdering teens at
Camp Crystal Lake, but I think this was a nice change of pace without the
absurdity of him being in space [Jason X is so stupid I love it!]
This is easily
the most underrated one of the whole series. This rules!
Murder Rating: 6
Movie Rating: 8.5
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th Part 9: Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday
Directed By: Adam Marcus
1993
91 Minutes - Color
Holy christ in a dumptruck, you'd think that having FIVE years to make a decent
slasher they could do better than this. The only good scenes are the very
beginning scene with the girl taking a bath and Jason chasing her through
the woods and when they guy eats Jason's heart. Other than that, this is pure
shit.
I detest this movie. I saw it in the theater when it came out and that didn't
help. Not worth your time.
Murder Rating: 7
Movie Rating: 2.5
Review by Baron
Friday The 13th Part 10: Jason X
Directed By: James Isaac
2001
91 Minutes - Color
Just when we think the series is dead, seven long years after the abysmal
part 9, we get Jason in space. This is easily one of the dumbest things ever
made, and you feel your IQ dropping with each passing scene, but for some
reason, this is an entertaining movie to me.
The basic idea is it is now 2455 and Mr. Voorhees has been frozen on a spaceship.
Well, he comes back to life and starts the bloodshed once again. The cast
of robot type people and stuff is amusing, but quite far from the original
concept of the series. But hey, this is 20 years later, so don't expect this
to be like part 4 or anything.
There are some good deaths in this one. The killing that stands out to me
is the girl having her head pushed into a sink filled with liquid nitrogen,
to which we get a nice close up. After Jason pulls her head up, he smashes
it on the table and it breaks into a million pieces. Nice.
Shut your brain off and forget the uber-Jason costume and this is entertaining.
I said ENTERTAINING, not good.
Murder Rating: 6.5
Movie Rating: 7.5
Freddy Vs. Jason
Directed By: Ronny Yu
2003
97 Minutes - Color
The ultimate battle between two horror legends. Judging by the amount of Nightmare
on Elm Street reviews I've written for this site [ZERO], you'll find out I'm
much more of a Jason fan. Freddy is too comical and lame to match the greatness
of the inhuman slaughter machine that Jason Voorhees is.
This movie had some great parts, and also some horrible parts. I wanted to
like this a lot, but I really couldn't fully get into it. I guess I'm in the
minority, because when I saw this in the theatre on opening night, the place
was going INSANE all the time. I guess I'm harder to please.. Wait, I like
Leprechaun in Space, so scratch that idea..
Anyway, this is a decent movie, and one you can find cheap used pretty much
ANYWHERE, so I'd recommend you check it out. Word has it they're trying to
make another sequel to this in the next few years, possibly with Michael Myers
in it. That would be interesting. That pansy would be the first to die if
I wrote the script!
Murder Rating: 8
Movie Rating: 6.5
Review by Baron
Freddy vs. Jason
Directed by: Ronny Yu
2003
97 Minutes - Color
I'll just start and say that this is probably one of the better horror films
that has come out in the past decade. On paper this idea was stretched pretty
thin, but it actually turned out really well on film. Freddy is lying dormant
in hell? I dont know....but he doesnt have any power, as the citizens of Elm
Street and beyond have forgotten his name... thus he recruits Jason Voorhees,
who also happens to be laying dormant, to refresh the blood a bit, if you
will. I was pleasantly surprised to see so many great deaths in this film.
The acting was all decent I suppose, but I could have done without the comedic
presence and the cliche burnout pothead kid.
It was actually pretty nice though, to see a horror film with these 2 champs
battling it out in full screen glory. Most of the time you're kept in the
dark and only get to see flashes and maybe a quick kill, until near the end
of the film... This one had great death sequences within the first 10 to 15
minutes and only got better from there. Definitely for any horror fan, unless
youre some kind of douchebag elitist who only watches 70s Fulci or Argento
films.
Murder Rating: 8
Movie Rating: 8
Review by Dave
Friday the 13th: Killer Extras
Directed By: Lots of People
1980-2005
About 90 Minutes - Color
This is the bonus disc that comes with the Friday the 13th box set. It shows
interviews with all the cast members and some of the stars of all the movies
1-8. It's pretty cool to see how some of the effects are done and how they
just set out to make a horror movie and had no clue it would turn into this
huge empire.
I enjoyed watching this, being an avid Jason fan. Lots of cut scenes and stuff
you won't see anywhere else. It also shows how each director was given total
control over how their installment of the series would go.
If you get the box set, definitely throw this in. I already had all the movies
individually, and I got the box used just for this bonus disc. That's dedication.
Murder Rating: 8
Movie Rating: 7
Review by Baron
Garden Of The Dead
Directed By: John Hayes
1974
59 Minutes - Color
A bunch of prisioners sniff formaldehyde and decide to break out of jail.
They come up with a plan, but they are caught in the middle of it, and the
guards kill about 10 of them. They bury them in shallow graves but a couple
minutes later they rise from the ground and start to track down their killers.
First off, this movie is 59 minutes long. That alone is worth praise if you
ask me. Even at that short of a running time, it
takes 25 minutes to really get going. Not that it goes anywhere, but you get
the point! There is no budget, the zombies look like garbage and they don't
follow any of the zombie "rules" we're used to. Example being they
can run and one of them can talk, etc. Plus, the murders are sooooooo bad.
They attack with pick axe's and barely touch anyone [if at all] and they're
dead. So dumb.
I don't really know what else to say about this. The ending makes no sense,
but who the hell cares. I found this used for $7 and I really couldn't say
no to it based on the write up on the back. If you can find it used, go for
it.
Murder Rating: 1
Movie Rating: 6.5
Review by Baron