Halloween
Directed by: John Carpenter
1978
91 minutes - Color
Easily the best of the series, as well as one of the original slasher films,
this predates both the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street films.
The film starts as we watch Michael as a child, murdering his older sister.
Cut to about 15 years later , on the eve of October 31. Michael finding and
watching Laurie, who we later find is his sister.
Everyone knows
about this film, so an indepth review isnt really necessary. The murders are
strong, but without gore.. but very convincing. The acting is somewhat cheesy
at times but without a doubt, this is my favorite all time horror film -I-
Murder Rating: 6
Movie Rating: 10
Review by Dave
Halloween
Directed By: John Carpenter
1978
91 Minutes - Color
I don't think I ever watched this film from beginning to end before in my
entire life. It's just one of those ones that slips through the cracks over
and over and for some reason you just never get the motivation to track it
down.
The review above mine describes the plot sorta so I won't bother with that.
I'll just comment on the fact that Michael Myers driving a car around and
following people is fucking gay. Holy crap I found myself laughing at this.
The movie did have a good spooky type vibe going on, and the ultra low budget
look helps in this situation, but overall I just didn't really get into the
whole thing that much. The guy who played Myers' doctor for 15 years was really
good, and his performance I thought was the strongest out of anyone. The main
girls in the film were annoying for the most part and I instantly wished for
their slaughter.
I have to watch part 2 to see if I like it anymore, but this didn't impress
me much for such a "classic" in the genre. Jason Voorhees doesn't
need to drive a station wagon.
Murder Rating: 5
Movie Rating: 5.5
Review by Baron
Halloween 2
Directed by: Rick Rosenthal
1981
92 minutes - Color
This sequel was released about 2 years after the original. The plot basically
starts where the first left off, with
Michael disappearing in the town of Haddonfield and slashing the shit out
of everyone. The murders are a bit more inventive in this one, ranging from
a forcing a woman's face into a scalding hot water tank, to shoving a scalpel
into an eyeball.
While this is a great sequel, it is not as great as the original. One of the
only things i dont like about the film is that they decided to change the
look of the Myers mask.... which is retarded, seeing as how he is SUPPOSED
to be wearing the same mask from the first film. All in all, a great successor
and the start of the sequel craze for this series.
Murder Rating: 7
Movie Rating: 9
Review by Dave
Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch
Directed By: Tommy Lee Wallace
1982
96 Minutes - Color
Shut up. I know this movie doesn't have anything to do with Michael Myers.
Get over it you douchelife. This movie is great.
This evil mask maker is planning to kill every kid on Halloween night, when
he holds a special contest on television at 9:00pm, and every kid in the nation
is going to be glued to the set. In the beginning of the movie, we're told
about a piece of Stonehenge has been stolen, and no other info is given on
it. We sort of forget about that [like we're supposed to] until we find out
all the "people" working in this mask factory are robots and they
were the ones responsible for stealing 5 tons of rock. Supposedly it contains
a special "power" or something, and that is what they use to help
make the microchip that goes inside the masks to kill all the kids. I won't
give too much of it away, because I know lots of people refused to even see
this movie because Myers isn't in it.
If you look at this as a separate movie not tied to the Halloween franchise,
you will probably enjoy this. Personally,
I found the whole story to be much more morbid than a guy in a mask killing
off his family. But hey, that's just me.
Murder Rating: 5
Movie Rating: 8
Review by Baron
Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers
Directed by: Dwight H. Little
1988
88 Minutes - Color
Pretty much discounting Halloween 3, this film takes place 10 years after
the first 2 films. We come to find that Laurie Strode has died, and her child
Jamie is currently in a foster home living her life and having nighmares about
The Shape. Myers comes back to life from his accident and subsequent coma
from Halloween 2, ready to kill again. This time... his young niece.
I thought this was a pretty decent film, certainly nowhere near as great as
the original, or even pt. 2, but it has its moments. The gore in this film
was actually quite gracious, a couple heads smashed, Myers forces his fingers
into the skull of another man, causing blood and brain matter to flow out,
and of course the obligatory lift-and-impale into the door. A lot of people
have given the 4-5-6 film-run a lot of shit about dragging out the franchise
to make money, but all in all, i thought this one was on par with the course,
and a good return for Myers, even if his mask is fucking gay this time around.
Murder Rating: 5
Movie Rating: 5
Review by Dave
Halloween H20
Directed by: Steve Miner
1998
85 minutes - Color
A lot of fans of the Halloween franchise dont care for the newer sequels,
but i feel that they are infact great films and, in the case of this film,
the most worthy sequel to the original since Halloween 2. H20 basically brings
us up to date in the Michael Myers/Laurie Strode storyline, forgoing all of
the previous 4 titles in favor of starting fresh with the original characters.
Laurie is grown up with a teenaged son, as Headmaster of a private school
in northern california, and you can be sure Michael is right around the corner.
Myers shows up and thankfully all the younger kids start dying off soon. Unfortunately,
the film was created directly in the middle of the huge "Scream"
phenomenon, and the writer of said film had his fingers in this one as well.
The music in the film is top 40 for the time, modern rock placed in the film
more to sell soundtracks than to add presence to the screen.
That said... it really is a great film. Jamie Lee Curtis does an amazing job
as Laurie Strode, and while I cant brag about The Shape... the acting was
done decently enough to hold up the previous 20 years' standards.
Murder Rating: 6
Movie Rating: 7
Review by Dave
Halloween:
Resurrection
Directed by: Rick Rosenthal
2002
94 minutes - Color
As a film, this one achieves what it set out to do: make money. As a Halloween
film, I personally dont care for the style in which it was made, but I do
like the premise of the film itself. Take a modern look at the series and
throw a modern turn on it.
A bunch of kids are picked off a website from a drawing or something, and
all given the opportunity to spend the night in the Myers House...run down
and boarded up and all. Theyre all given headcams to record everyone, and
everything is supposed to go smoothly. Boring murders ensue, Busta Rhymes
fucks up the film, and there you go.
While I DO like the film, I dont really think it was that great of a Halloween
film. There is a cool feature on the DVD though, which is the option to watch
the entire Myers House sequence of the film [a good hour or so, at least],
from the perspectives of the headcams alone. It is a pretty inventive way
to package the DVD, and at least in that aspect, they achieved something truly
original.
Murder Rating: 5
Movie Rating: 6
Review by Dave
Hell Night
Directed By: Tom DeSimone
1981
101 Minutes - Color
Some kids have to spend a night in a crazy mansion where a bunch of murders took place 12 years ago. There are stories of some deformed offspring still living in this house, and they tell that to the pledges to scare them even more. They also set up some practical jokes and pranks inside the house to spook them even more. Things are going well until the mutants living in the house start killing them off one by one.
This movies major pull was it had Linda Blair in it. Does anyone really care? No. This is a somewhat entertaining movie that could be a LOT more, but it just doesn't fully take off like it could. Some decent special effects brighten up the slow dialog and [what seems like] long running time. Here is another movie that could have been better at 80 minutes.
This might be a good rental or used DVD purchase if you can find it.
Murder Rating:
5.5
Movie Rating: 7
Review by Baron
Hostel
Directed By: Eli Roth
2005
95 Minutes - Color
DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF THE HYPE ABOUT THIS MOVIE. THIS IS COMPLETE SHIT AND
ANY TRUE HORROR FAN WILL FUCKING DETEST THIS BULLSHIT.
DEATH TO ELI ROTH AND QUENTIN TARANTINO FOR THIS COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
Murder Rating: 3
Movie Rating: 1
Review by Baron
House
Directed By: Steve Miner
1986
93 Minutes - Color
Roger Cobb is a Vietnam vet. Whose career as a horror novelist has taken a
turn for the worse when his son Jimmy mysteriously disappears while visiting
his aunt's house. Roger's search for Jimmy destroys his marriage and his writing
career. The sudden death of his aunt brings Roger back to the house where
his nightmares began. The evil zombies in the house force Roger to endure
a harrowing journey into his past, at the end of which he find his son. Desperate
to escape from the tortures of the house, Roger must battle the evil forces
which have haunted him for a lifetime in order to save himself and his son
from certain death.
There's a stolen review. I'm too lazy to write my own stuff right now.
Anyway, some decent [and some horrible] special effects and a nice dose of
comedy help this movie along. It's not really meant to be a "serious"
horror, but that's part of the charm. George Wendt and Richard Moll are awesome,
by the way. When Moll is the zombie, it's simply amazing.
Part 1 and 2 are available together, although it doesn't say that ANYWHERE
on the box. You only know when you open it that you got both movies. What
a deal.
Murder Rating: 5
Movie Rating: 6.5
Review by Baron
House Of 1000 Corpses
Directed By: Rob Zombie
2003
88 Minutes - Color
I don't really get all the hype with this movie. I will definitely agree that
it is in fact a well done 70's style horror film, but a lot of it just seems
to "be there" because they had to fill time or something. A lot
of it is unique while still being an homage to older horror, but it just doesn't
do it for me.
Plotline in nutshell: Friends car gets a flat, crazy family takes them in,
crazy family kills them.
Some of the scenery is well done, and there are some good one liners [Spaulding
is great], but overall this movie is just a bore to me. There really isn't
much gore in it. Well, at least not what you expect from the title and what
people say about it.
Rob Zombie's wife is good eye candy, and she plays a good psycho. A couple
of the members of the family are cool too, but it just doesn't save it. Hey,
I only spent $5 on it used. No big loss.
Murder Rating: 6
Movie Rating: 4
Review by Baron
Human Pork Chop
Directed By: Benny Chan Chi Shun
2001
90 Minutes - Color
Japanese with English Subtitles
This is basically a movie about a hooker who steals money from her pimp and how they torture her to get the money back. Considering the subject matter [and the fact it's a Jap movie], it should be a lot more intense than it is. For a movie having a title like Human Pork Chop and being based around prostitutes, you sorta feel screwed with toned down violence, no nudity, and boring dialog.
There are some fairly well done scenes, but after 45 minutes of them degrading this whore, you sorta get the picture. The whole movie focuses too much on the pimp and his stable of sluts and how they react and everything rather than making the plot itself a bit more interesting.
This genre usually has a lot to offer, both in creativity and absurdity, but this one is just average. The bathtub dismemberment scene at the end is nice though.
Murder Rating:
3.5
Movie Rating: 5
Review by Baron
Ice Cream Man
Directed by: Norman Apstein
1995
84 Minutes - Color
The most retarded ass movie on the face of the earth! Before becoming a crazy
ice cream man, Gregory was a normal kid who accidentally saw his friend being
murdered. He grew up psychotic after the murder and became the ice cream man.
Giving children ice cream, that had his special ingrediants. Cops try to follow
leads from a group of spoiled brats who want the ice cream man to go to jail!
So dumb! But the ice cream man is so damn smart he starts killing people at
random no longer trying to remain the mysterious killer....greatest guy on
the face of the earth!
Ice
cream treats covered in blood <3
Murder Rating: 3
Movie Rating: 8
Review by Anne
Ichi The Killer
Directed By: Takashi Miike
2001
129 Minutes - Color
Japanese with English Subtitles
THIS MOVIE IS TOO DAMN LONG. Holy crap. I found myself struggling to watch
this and I kept glancing at the DVD timer as it crawled past 90 minutes, past
100 minutes, past 110 minutes, and beyond.
I'm not going to get into the movie too much because I just didn't like it.
This is the type of movie where the gore shouldn't be funny, but it totally
is, and that takes away a lot of it. The guy who plays Kakihara is good, as
is the guy who plays Ichi. A lot of the story is confusing, because so many
characters are added and killed, you
don't even know why it was happening.
Lots of people like this, but I don't. If all you care about is blood spurting
out of necks, then you'll think this is the greatest thing since fags dying.
Murder Rating: 10
Movie Rating: 3
Review by Baron
Inferno
Directed By: Dario Argento
1980
107 Minutes - Color
"The Three Mothers" are a trio of nasty, unseen witches/sisters whose rein of terror leaves behind a string of bizarre, grisly murders stretching from Germany to Italy to America. A young woman (Irene Miracle) renting out a room in a multiple-story, gothic mansion in New York City (also head quarters to the witches) becomes obsessed with a book on the sisters and ends up meeting a gruesome demise for her meddling. Her brother (Leigh McCloskey) receives a distressed letter and returns from musicology studies in Rome to investigate, is thrust into a series of grisly murders and coming face to face with the spirit of death itself!
I stole that review snippet because I just finished watching this movie and I was really confused about it. This is weird for an Argento movie because, although it contains AMAZING aesthetics, there seems to be really lackluster script and writing. A lot of it is ultra confusing and makes no sense whatsoever. Some breathtaking visuals are at work here and the attention to detail is incredible. Argento really knows how to make a movie pleasing to the eyes. The murders might be a bit tamed down this time around, and maybe that's something this could have used a bit more of. Excessive killings could possibly get your mind off the lack of script.
This is an unofficial sequel to Suspiria, and it's even more visually pleasing than that was.. although the writing isn't up to par. I can't fully recommend this, but I think it's worthwhile for Argentophiles to have.
Murder Rating:
6
Visual Rating: 10
Movie Rating: 7
Review by Baron
Jack
Frost 2: The Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman
Directed by: Michael Cooney
2003
91 Minutes - Color
I won't lie to you here. I fucking love this movie. Granted, I honestly don't think you could possibly write and produce a dumber movie unless you were a blind and retarded In Flames fan.
First off, this destroys the first movie a million times over. The first one was ok, don't get me wrong, and when they "kill" Jack Frost by drowning him in a pickup truck bed full of antifreeze, well.. Cinema changed forever that day, my friends.
Part 2 starts out with Jack being brought back to life [by coffee!] and he immediately tracks down the guy that tried to kill him in the first one. The cop who put him away moves to a tropical island because he thinks Mr. Frost can't get him there, but he's wrong. He slowly but surely starts killing everyone in his path until he gets to the island. They find out he can't be killed with antifreeze now, so they make up a concoction to fight him. You have to see it to believe how retarded it is.
The acting is awful, the sets look like Saved By The Bell leftovers, and the special effects with the snowballs and the icicle murders is downright terrible. You can probably find this movie for less than $10 in any local used DVD store. If you do not pick this movie up, you are surely missing out on one of the best comedy/horror movies ever made.
Murder Rating:
8
Movie Rating: 8.5
Review by Baron
Jackhammer Massacre
Directed by: Joe Castro
2004
89 Minutes - Color
Oh man do I hate this movie. After picking this worthless movie up used at Blockbuster, I traded it to my buddy for the equally retarded but waaaaaay better movie known as Scarecrow.
Maybe I'm against it so much because I don't like movies based on drug addiction, and the first half of this movie is the guy shooting up. YAWN. DIE FAG. When it does "get going" it doesn't go far, because you have to keep a jackhammer plugged in! Holy crap is this a bad movie. BAD BAD MOVIE.
I know lots of people rent or buy movies to see how bad it can be, but trust me here, this isn't even worth your time. You're better of with Leprechaun In The Hood.
Murder Rating:
5
Movie Rating: 1
Review by Baron
Jeepers Creepers 2
Directed by: Victor Salva
2003
104 Minutes - Color
I won't even review the first Jeepers Creepers because it wasn't that good. In fact, I didn't bother to watch the second part until 2005 because the first one did nothing for me.
This isn't the best plot in the world. A bunch of high school jocks and cheerleaders are heading back on a bus home. The bus breaks down on highway 9 and it's the 23rd day to the Creepers feeding frenzy. The kids are trying to survive by staying in the bus but it is not working. The Creeper is gathering his strength and killing them off one by one.
Even though, the plot is very bland...this movie is actually good and has some good blood scenes.
Murder Rating:
7
Movie Rating: 7
Review by Anne
Junk
Directed By: Atsushi Muroga
2000
85 Minutes - Color
Japanese with English Subtitles
This is a great Japanese zombie flick where jewel thieves meet up with some
mob type guy to cash in on what they robbed. What they didn't count on was
the random place picked for the transaction [an old "abandoned"
military base] was actually a giant lab full of the slowest zombies ever put
on screen. The scientist who created the serum called DNX to bring his ex-wife
back to life, and to help the military with experiments, goes back to try
and save the day, but he ends up as lunch. Actually, most everyone ends up
as food in this gory flick.
Most of the dialogue is in Japanese and there are English subtitles. I don't
know if it was just something in the translation, but the writing seems really
generic and not up to par with how interesting and quick paced the movie is.
I wasn't expecting to enjoy this as much as I did, to be honest. Most of the
actors do a decent job and once the first half hour is over and the zombies
start to appear, it doesn't really let up from there.
I'd say if you're a fan of Romero type undead gorefests, you will find some
worth in this.
Murder Rating: 9
Movie Rating: 7.5
Review by Baron
Kairo
Directed By: Kiyoshi Kurosawa
2001
118 Minutes - Color
Japanese with English Subtitles
This movie is basically another flick that is riding on the coattails of Ringu and the other Japanese movies that us Americans decided to remake and destroy. That being said; this is the best of those movies.
This isn't a hack and slash type horror movie. This is more of a supernatural ghost story of sorts. Before you stop reading this review, understand that that genre isn't my specialty either, but I can get into it when it's done right and it's done right here. The actors and actresses in this are excellent, and the whole vibe of the movie is ultra creepy. I give lots of credit to the director for producing something this chilling, visually.
A two second summary is this film is about being isolated, even though with modern technology, we're "closer" to more people than ever before. I really don't want to attempt to describe it even more, because 3/4 of these type movies are about interpretation rather than being told exactly what is "supposed" to happen [yes, that means you Hollywood]
This is a movie everyone should see. Unfortunately I don't [as of yet] have a region free DVD player, so I had to watch my double VCD package on my computer [I picked up the VCD on eBay, and it comes in a full color package just like a DVD, and it's cheap] It doesn't really take anything away from the movie itself, but this seems like one you'd want to play on a huge screen with the lights off and the sound cranked. Check it out or die a faggot.
Murder Rating:
1
Creepy Rating: 9
Movie Rating: 8.5
Review by Baron
King Of The Ants
Directed By: Stuart Gordon
2003
103 Minutes - Color
This regular guy agrees to kill someone for a mob type guy for $13,000. After
he does it, they don't give him the money, and instead kidnap him and violently
abuse him. When he gets out of that, he thinks he can start over, so he goes
to the house of the guy he killed because he likes the wife. Stupid. She finds
out he killed her husband and she uhhh, does something to him. I shut it off
around this point because it was unwatchable tripe. Even if it got WAY better
I would still hate this movie for the first hour alone. This isn't a horror
movie, this isn't a thriller, this isn't suspense.. This is something a faggot
would like.
I was interested in this film because it was made by the guy that did Reanimator.
Don't let that fool you in the slightest bit. Remember, Grave also released
Hating Life.
Murder Rating: 2
Movie Rating: 1
Review by Baron
Land of the Dead
Directed by: George A. Romero
2005
97 Minutes - Color
I saw this in the theatre on opening day and I was quite surprised how good it really was. It has the vibe of a much older movie and there are some interesting things thrown in to make it stand out as a Romero movie and not just another zombie flick.
The people who are alive all live in the city, inside a big fancy building owned by the fat cat [Dennis Hopper] that you're supposed to hate and be happy to see get ripped apart by the undead. The movie follows the main quest of getting to the city, although the millions of zombies obviously make this a difficult task. This film shows the dead as SLIGHTLY more intelligent as they are able to learn things based on what they had done when they were alive. They're not exactly solving pi here, it's more like knowing they use tools to break down walls and jump in rivers and make it to the other side.
The absurd amount of gore is refreshing and it's hard to believe they got away with as much as they did. There's plenty of zombies feasting on humans, arms and legs being ripped off, and blood spraying out everywhere. While the budget wasn't exactly high by typical Hollywood theatre releases, they definitely made the best of what they had and made a successful gorefest.
I wasn't a big fan of the Dawn of the Dead remake, and thankfully Land of the Dead was a whole different movie than that was. I was half expecting it to be like Dawn since it was so well received by most everyone. You must go buy this ASAP.
Murder Rating:
10
Movie Rating: 8
Review by Baron
Land Of The Dead
[Unrated Directors Cut]
Directed By: George A. Romero
2005
97 Minutes - Color
Zombies! Most of the time this subject matter makes for great films, but this one just didnt really entertain me as much as i would have liked. This film basically tells the story of a community of people inside a walled in city, barricaded away from the living dead that have plagued the world. The living venture out to the zombie plagued areas to find supplies and find that the undead are slowly learning to figure out how to find their way to the city. I wont delve too deeply into the plot and happenings of the film, as Baron has already done a fine job of that.
Overall, i was just bored by the film. The gore and special effects were spectacular, with tons of smashed and splattered brains, disembowelments and great scenes of limbs being torn from bodies, and all of this was done in a top notch style. I didnt care for the actors or characters. The main black zombie who develops all the initial mental tools to break into the city was a fucking sped. I didnt care at all the way the character was acted, and it all seemed just fake and gay to me. Personally, i dont want to see Zombies becoming characters with personalities. I want to see them eating flesh and getting their heads blown apart [which this film did have, mind you...].
In conclusion, just rent the original Night Of The Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead instead of this. Not necessarily a better film for the gore, but much better films overall.
Murder Rating:
10
Movie Rating: 5
Review by Dave
Legend of the
Chupacabra
Directed By: Joe Castro
2000
90 Minutes - Color
This is a Troma release about some assholes going to search for some beast
that sucks the blood out of goats. I watched about 30 minutes of this Blair
Witch knockoff and had to shut it off. Don't bother unless you really really
really hate yourself.
Murder Rating: ?
Movie Rating: 1
Review by Baron
Leprechaun
Directed by Mark Jones
1993
91 Minutes - Color
If you know me, you know I'm a huge fan of the Leprechaun series. Honestly, I'm not really sure why either. The series itself is totally retarded and most of them are real hit and miss, but I just can't get enough of these amazing movies.
That being said, I don't like part 1. Sure, I know this is what started it all, but I just can't really get into it. Everyone makes a big deal about Jennifer Aniston being in this, but I don't care. That bitch can get killed immediately for being a dumb whore. It is amusing to see Francis from Pee Wee's Big Adventure in this movie though. He plays a retard. How fitting.
Warwick Davis is the Leprechaun who is released from the crate hewas trapped in. He needs to find his gold [duh] so he goes on a killing rampage. There are some fairly gruesome kills in this one, and this is easily the most "serious" one of the 6 movies. I'm sure if you've seen any Leprechaun movies, it's this one.. So I'll save my energy for the sequels.
Murder Rating:
8
Movie Rating: 6
Review by Baron
Leprechaun
2
Directed by Rodman Flender
1994
85 Minutes - Color
I believe this is the strongest movie of the entire series. It's a little less serious than the first one, but it's also far from the comedies that the rest of them became. This one starts off a thousand years before [don't ask why] and the Leprechaun is looking for a bride on his 1000th birthday. He finds the descendent of the girl he wanted as a bride, and she already has a boyfriend that is partners with his Uncle Morty in a company called Darkside Tours. Warwick Davis tries to kidnap the girl, and of course, the boyfriend goes after them to get her back.
Not exactly an amazing storyline, but it's done in a way that's slightly better than the other Lep movies. I'd say this is the most entertaining one, and a good place to start if you've never seen any of them [BLASPHEMY!] None of them really tie together that much, and most of the time, they don't explain why the movie is even happening. But, with cheesy horror, you expect that. I love this movie.
Murder Rating:
7
Movie Rating: 9
Review by Baron
Leprechaun
3
Directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith
1995
93 Minutes - Color
This one begins with a guy selling a Leprechaun "statue" to a pawn shop. The owner gives him $10 for it and begins to examine it. He sees the necklace around his neck and takes it off, which brings the Lep back to life. After killing the pawn shop owner, he leaves with his gold. He doesn't realize he's left a piece behind that has already been picked up by Scott, the main kid in this movie. That kid really sucks, and this movie would be better if that kid wasn't a stupid douchelife, but the movie is still great.
Scott takes the coin across the street to a casino where it helps him win a ton of money. The casino owners are pissed and get someone to go up and steal the coin from his hotel room. Little do they know that everyone who comes in contact with the coin will have "bad luck" or something. Most of them die of course, and Scott himself almost turns into a Leprechaun many times in the movie.
There are some classic scenes in this movie, like Warwick Davis dressed up as the doctor, sawing the guy in half, and of course him doing the Elvis impersonation. This is just as good as part 2 is really, although this is where the series went for humour as much as it went for "horror."
Murder Rating:
6.5
Movie Rating: 9
Review by Baron
Leprechaun
4: In Space
Directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith
1997
95 Minutes - Color
Some consider this to be the worst of the series. To be honest, it really IS the worst if you're basing it on how legit the story is. I personally enjoy this movie for the absurdity of it.
Warwick Davis is in space now obviously, and I don't remember them saying exactly why. Just accept the fact that he's in space. Anyway, he's found an alien princess to marry, but these space marines or whatever blow him to bits. When they're celebrating killing off the Lep, one of the guys pisses on his remains. Well, a few scenes later this same guy is making out with some whore aboard the ship and the Leprechaun comes to life and shoots out of his crotch. You can't make this stuff up.
You can't forget about the cheap looking half human/half machine that wants the blood of the princess to make himself fully human again. The CGI graphics are seriously worse than Nintendo and the spaceship itself looks sooooooooooo fake that you will laugh endlessly. The dialog itself it terrible, and the actors are even worse than the ones they got for the other movies.
The Leprechaun is blown to pieces 3 times in this movie, but he always manages to come back. When he is blown up for the third time, he has transformed into a 20 foot tall Leprechaun [worst CGI possible] and he gets sucked out the ship into the atmosphere where he explodes. The use of the middle finger has never been so good.
I definitely wouldn't see this one first if you're new to the series. But DEFINITELY see it!
Murder Rating:
6
Movie Rating: 7.5
Review by Baron
Leprechaun
5: In The Hood
Directed by Rob Spera
2000
90 Minutes - Color
This is my least favourite in the series. Not even the help of Ice-T can save this movie.
Ice-T has the Leprechaun statue in his house, and some aspiring rappers break in to get money to buy gear to enter a rap contest or something [Forgive my lack of knowledge here, I had trouble sitting through this even once] The characters are awful and luckily they all get killed. I don't feel like wasting time with this review. I will say you should skip to the end credits to see Warwick Davis rapping. It's the highlight of the whole movie. Then go watch the other ones.
Murder Rating:
6
Movie Rating: 2
Review by Baron
Leprechaun
6: Back To Tha Hood
Directed by Steven Ayromlooi
2003
87 Minutes - Color
This installment was a huge breath of fresh air. They brought in a new director who had never directed a feature film before and it made a world of difference.
I just wrote up a whole review on this, then I went to look up a fact on another website and I found an amazing review for this movie, so I'm just going to post his review of it! Cheating rules.
In the Dark Ages, the kings hire earth creatures known as leprechauns to guard their fortunes. But when the kings all died off, the leprechauns were all whisked away back into the earth. But one decided to stay and became overpowered with greed and pure evil. Now we fast forward to the year 2002 A.D. at the construction site of the new youth center. Father Jacob is being stalked by the monstrous demon Leprechaun. Luckily Father Jacob managed to stab him a few times, pour holy water mixed with four-lead clovers all over Leprechaun and then condemn him to Hell. Just the hands poked up from the ground and pulled Leprechaun downward. Just then, Father Jacob collapsed from a heart attack. One year later, due to Father Jacob's death, the youth center was left uncompleted; Life wasn't going very well for friends Emily Woodrow, Lisa Duncan and Jamie Davis. Emily worked at the beauty salon for an overweight nag named Yolanda. Emily had recently broken up with her boyfriend Rory, who now has a hot new girlfriend named Chantel. Jamie was a pothead and was in debt to gangleader Watson. One day, Emily and Lisa pay a visit to a psychic who forsees fortune in their lives, but it came at a heavy price: a ruthless, demonic creature would come after them.
Emily and Lisa throw a barbecue at the youth center construction site, Rory tries to talk to Emily but she shuns him away. Suddenly she falls through the ground into a mystic cave. There, she finds a small treasure chest. Emily is rescued and once they reach her house, the open the chest and find it filled with gold coins. They total over a million dollars. They divide them up amongst themselves. Lisa bought a '65 Mustang, Emily got a make-over and went shopping in Beverly Hills, and Jamie bought drugs. But the tampering with the gold awakened the Leprechaun! At a party at Jamie's house, one of his friends was admiring Jamie's bong collection when he encounters the Leprechaun. They share a hit then Leprechaun finds the guy with one of his gold coins. Leprechaun kills him and, when staggering around the house, gets himself locked in the refrigerator. He eventually get's out and stalks Emily to the beauty salon where he kills a grossly overweight customer named Doria. Leprechaun tries to kill Emily, but she get's away. Leprechaun then tracks down Lisa and brutally kills her. Emily decrees they give back the gold. Rory reluctantly agrees but then takes off with the chest, but later when Leprechaun tried to get Emily, Rory returned and saved her.
Rory and Emily
head out of town but are soon stopped by some corrupt cops. They get arrested,
but then Leprechaun shows up and kills the cops. Emily and Rory escape and
Leprechaun tries to follow them in the police car, but finds his feet can't
reach the pedals. Back in town, Rory and Emily meet up with Watson and his
gang who cause trouble. Leprechaun arrives then and kills Watson. Emily, Rory
and Jamie band together and figure out a way to stop Leprechaun. They go to
the psychic for help. She tells them a leprechaun has two weaknesses: his
gold and four-leaf clovers. Rory bonds some clovers to bullets in his gun.
Leprechaun shows up then. He chases Rory and Emily all around the building.
First they try burning him up, but he survived. Then Rory got his gun unjammed
and plugged Leprechaun with the four-leaf clover bullets and Emily knocks
him off the roof and into a vat of quick-dry cement. Leprechaun sinks in the
cement and was gone. Rory and Emily rejoyce and fall back in love. Our story
has a happy ending.
Murder Rating: 7
Movie Rating: 8
Review by Baron
and some guy
Living Hell
Directed By: Shugo Fujii
2000
Color - 104 Minutes
Japanese with English Subtitles
Holy shit this movie fucking rules. I guess lots of people write it off as being Texas Chainsaw Massacre part 32904849, but there's so much more to it. This is truly a sinister flick that you can't keep your eyes off until the bizarre ending scene. It's also something you'll want to watch again and again to pick up on things you missed before.
Unlike most horror movies, the plot to this one is actually pretty involved. I won't even get into it all, but let's just say this crazy grandmother and her granddaughter come to stay with a family and they torture the kid who is in a wheelchair. It's not really the most vile type torture, but it's done well and the grandmother is ultra creepy. I wish she was my grandmother.
Anyway, the whole thing ties together near the end during this really long single scene in a room with all the characters present. Everything is sorta explained in depth right there to the wheelchair kid and to us since we're both learning the truth to this at the same time. If that wasn't enough, the scene after that is two guys talking and it explains everything even more. Everything about this flick is great considering the limited budget and the fact it was filmed in just 9 days. That alone speaks volumes to just what you can do if you really want to make a quality movie regardless of what you're given.
I know this is a shitty review, but let's just say this.. If you like the extremity and amazing atmosphere of Japanese movies, you'd be a complete faggot not to seek this movie out. GET IT NOW.
Murder Rating: 7.5
Movie Rating: 10
Review by Baron
Long Time Dead
Directed by: Marcus Adams
2002
94 Minutes- Color
Shit, this movie was fucking stupid! Its about a bunch of gay British ravers who mess with a Ouija board when they are drunk/stoned. "Djinn" the evil spirit starts tormenting and killing them off. Of course, the ending of this stupid piece of shit of a movie is obvious. Think of Michael Jackson's thriller video at the end....his faggot eyes glow...exact ending to long time dead. Djinn possesses the last person and her eyes glow. I can't waste anymore time on this gay piece of crap.
Murder Rating:
0
Movie Rating: 0
Review by Anne